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Category Archives: Reconnecting with your Teenager

Summer Break … Make It Count! Part 1

June 15, 2016

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

Summer Break – Make It Count!

Parents!  There are a ton of programs and activities to keep your teenager happily engaged and entertained throughout the Summer Break.  Many of these programs and activities are designed to make the summer a “Rockin’ Good Time!”  Other programs are cleverly crafted to keep your teen Amped-UP so that he or she returns to the classroom in the fall … fully prepared to do well academically.  My point here is — you have lots of choices!

As you examine your options, I’d like you to consider one that I put together for you and your teenager.  It’s called “Summer Break – Make It Count!” and it’s not so much a program as it is a Project that’s performed in a series of Free-style Conversations.  The Project is designed to help you and your teenager re-Discover each other and re-Vive your Parent-Teen relationshipSound Ambitious?  It is!  But families who embrace the Summer Project know first-hand that it’s a positive Game Changer! read more …

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Revive Your Parent-Teen Relationship!

May 19, 2016

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

 Revive Your Parent-Teen Relationship!

“Blood” is essential to sustain human life.  “Communication” is necessary to sustain human relationships.  I believe the life-blood of relationships is Communication … but not the same old yackety-yak we may have heard growing up!  Parents today have to interact differently with their sons and daughters when they become teenagers.  This is not easily done, especially when our teens prefer debating us rather having an agreeable conversation.

Allow me to challenge you.  Can you name three parents (excluding yourself) who have enviable relationship with their teenager?  Notice I didn’t ask you to name “families” … that might be nearly impossible.  So I’m asking for individual parents.  Can you name three?  I hope so because if you can’t … things are worse than I thought.

Strong Parent-Teen relationships are the first line of defense against families falling apart at the seams.  Families that fall apart figuratively end up in divorce, separation or other forms of estrangement.  Families that fall apart spiritually get lost in a fog of irreconcilable differences, unforgiveness, bitterness and depression.  In each situation, family members often feel lost in a private hell they cannot escape. read more …

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Teen Culture … Veil of Secrecy!

April 24, 2016

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

Malbec Grapes

Teen Culture … Veil of Secrecy!

Teenagers growing up in the 21st Century have a bottomless “Pit” from which to draw a variety of self-destructive activities.  If you can imagine some of these activities … they are already in the “Pit” and waiting for our sons and daughters to grab hold of it.

Our teens have greater access to the “Pit” because Teen Culture promotes the Lie that experimenting with Drugs, Alcohol and Prescription Medicine is normalThe New “Normal!”  Teen Culture reinforces the following messages to our teens via music, movies, billboards, television and social media …

“Get Real!  That’s what teenagers do!”  

“You’re going to experience life at some point anyway!”

“It’s all part of growing up!”  

“No Big Deal!”

The challenges our teenagers deal with and the daily choices they have to make were foreign to us when we were their age and unimaginable to our parents when they were teenagers.  The Age of Innocence disappeared several generations ago … and there’s barely any evidence of it left.  I remember the Brady Bunch and the Huxtable Kids with amusement … but those nostalgic days are no more.  Poof!  Gone!  But you already know this.

The New “Normal!”

What I refer to as The New “Normal!” is often terrifying to parents.  Now imagine how terrifying it must be for our sons and daughters, especially those who choose NOT to identify with The New “Normal!”  I refer now to some of our teenagers who make positive choices and have Goals and Dreams they want to pursue.  These are fun-loving teenagers who are NOT interested in Getting High, Sexting or indulging in reckless irresponsible behaviors that jeopardize their health, safety and wellbeing.

The teens I refer to now are NOT winged-Angels.  They occasionally screw up and miss the Mark!  But their parents are proud of who they are becoming.  And each and every day, these teens try hard to behave in ways that make themselves proud of who they are becomingas they lean toward more Independence. read more …

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Parents of Teenagers Practice Love Two Ways

January 18, 2016

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

 Parents of Teenagers Practice Love Two Ways

If you know me at all (even if only through this blog), you know that I’m excited about the possibilities of what a Parent-Teen relationship can become. I suspect this will always be true of me … because I know how amazing those relationships can be after they transform. Ultimately, what jump-starts the transformation is Love. BUT when things turn sour and fall apart … it’s always when Parents of Teenagers Practice Love Two Ways.

Love is one of the strongest emotions in the world – perhaps the strongest. Love is unmistakable, immutable and irrefutable. This Love is “Unconditional!” You can always spot Unconditional Love. It’s a “Steel Magnolia!” It nurtures, protects and inspires simultaneously! It hangs tough over the long haul and does whatever it takesFor as long as it takes!  Unconditional Love does NOT know how to fail. read more …

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Teenagers’ Quest for Independence!

January 4, 2016

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

 Teenagers’ Quest for Independence!

Welcome to the 16th year of the New Millennium. I don’t think I’ve ever used the word Millennium on this blog.  I only point to it now because we’ve just embraced the 2016 New Year and I want to share a thought about our Teenagers’ Quest for Independence!

Today’s post will be a wee bit shorter. Did you just muffle a “Yaaay!” It’s okay … I get it.  🙂

I want to start the year off by encouraging you to continue to stretch your Parenting Muscles as you deal with the challenge of your teenager’s sprint toward Independence.

But first … Don’t act like you didn’t know it was coming! read more …

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Parenting Teen Turbulence … A Mixed Bag!

December 23, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

 Parenting Teen Turbulence … A Mixed Bag!

This post marks the end of our looking back at what might have been your parenting experiences.  Parenting Teen Turbulence … A Mixed Bag! is all about what you’re experiencing currently.  Keep these words in mind … It’s a Mixed Bag! 

Level Seven:  The Savings & Loan in Your Heart!

Imagine for a moment that your heart has a Savings & Loan on the premises.  Let’s call it your “Heart-Bank.”  Your daughter’s account was activated the moment you laid eyes on her at birth.  Over the years, automatic deposits and withdrawals were made on her behalf … based on the amount of joy or sadness she brought into your life.  Throughout her childhood, she generated hefty deposits – all the “good stuff.”  Her withdrawals were kept to a minimum.

Even during the Terrible Two’s, your child still made more deposits than withdrawals.  But things changed a bit during adolescence.  Her deposits and withdrawals were a bit more even-handed – 50/50.  Nowadays, the Turbulence of your daughter’s teen years is having a devastating impact on her account.  By age 16, she will have depleted all her savings.  She already owes the Heart-Bank an embarrassing sum in overdraft fees … and her adolescence is not even half over.  If she were not bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh, her account would be in Collections!   NEXT! read more …

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Teen Turbulence – Let’s Break It Down!

December 4, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

Teen Turbulence – Let’s Break It Down!

Teen Turbulence is all the crappy “Stuff” that naturally erupts in the lives of our sons and daughters. It’s the “Stuff” that we parents cannot control … because it’s completely under the control of our teenagers. If you are living with a teenager, Turbulence is either happening now or about to bubble up and splatter all over you.  BUT there’s hope!

Remember Your Teen Years!

Do you recall your teen years? I hope so because it’s important that you feel “Empathy” toward your teenager. That would be the proof that you have not forgotten what it feels like to be trapped in the body and brain of a teenager. read more …

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Parenting – The Great Game of Show & Tell

November 6, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

Parenting – The Great Game of Show & Tell!

“Parenting” can be summed up in three words:  “Show & Tell!”  We parents model and teach our children what they need to know …. and we hope they will eventually apply it to their lives.  The challenge with teenagers is this:  They have the ability to judge whether their parents are speaking their personal truth or just giving lip service to ideals they don’t really live up to.

Teenagers will listen to their parents only as long as what we “Show” them reflects what we “Tell” them.  Not so long ago everybody called it “Walking Your Talk”some of us still do.  That’s why I refer to parenting as “The Great Game of Show & Tell!”  It is because our teenagers expect us to Model what comes out of our mouth.  If we fail to do this, they will eventually lose respect for us and call us Hypocrites.

When our sons and daughters lose respect for us … we lose our ability to have any “Influence” in their lives.  That’s a huge LOSS!  And some parents never recover from this.  Why?  Because teenagers have a short attention span where their parents are concerned … and Zero tolerance for Hypocrisy.  So we can’t monkey around with that. read more …

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Fire Up Your Parental Engine!

October 22, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

Fire Up Your Parental Engine!  Part 1

Today I’m offering ALL parents of teenagers an opportunity to get a free copy of my special report titled “Fire Up Your Parental Engine!” It’s a 19-page eBook available to everyone who completes the Email Signup form on the right side of this webpage. If you’re reading this post somewhere other than on my website … go there now to complete the Email Signup form.  You’ll be emailed a Link to download the eBook.

www.ParentingYourTeenforLife.com

A word of caution. If you are easily offended or don’t really want to read about “New Possibilities” to improve your Parent-Teen relationship … don’t bother signing up. You might not be able to stomach “Fire Up Your Parental Engine!”

I, affectionately, refer to the eBook as a Gift wrapped in lovely layers of unrelenting Tough Love. Others might describe it as an Iron Fist in a genteel Velvet Glove. Grab a copy and reach your own conclusion. read more …

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Celebrating Parents – The Wind Beneath Teen Wings

September 17, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

Celebrating Parents – The “Wind” Beneath Teen Wings!”

In last week’s blog I wrote the following about “Teens with Dreams!”

“I believe the more we celebrate our young people … the more inspired, motivated and positively challenged they will be to believe in their Dreams and in their ability to manifest them. I also believe the “Teens with Dreams!” series will help parents function more effectively as the Wind beneath the Wings of their teenagers who have Dreams.

I want us to begin celebrating the Wind beneath the Wings of “Teens with Dreams!” So today we focus on the Parent of Danette MaKaila … Dr. Linette Montae. You will recall from last week that Danette is the 17 year-old CEO of her company.  Dr. Montae is on my radar this week because she is the Wind beneath her daughter’s Wings in creating a thriving successful business. read more …

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