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Category Archives: Parenting Shifts

Parenting in the Early “Middle” Years … Tart!

December 17, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

 Parenting in the Early “Middle” Years … Tart!

Here’s the 2nd Excerpt from “Mom and Dad Don’t Have a Clue!” Remember, we’re still looking back in time at what may have been your early parenting experience.

Level Five: Maintaining Control – A Delicate Balance!

Level Five is where parenting really gets dicey. Honesty and clear thinking on your part … is critically important. Ask yourself a bold question:

“Is controlling my teenager the most important thing to me?”

That question is critically important because it goes to the heart of your ability to cope with, recover from, and celebrate after the Turbulent Teen Years have run their course. So before you answer the question, let me interject a thought … read more …

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Parenting in the Early Years … Sweet!

December 13, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

 Parenting in the Early Years … Sweet!

Do you remember when parenting your child was a breeze? Most days felt like a “Play Day” for you. From Infancy and even through the Terrible Two’s, you were the Effective Parenting wiz. You were a Star Performer! Remember how other parents envied your child-rearing skills? Why wouldn’t they. You had a model child by any standard.

Back then parenting your child was stress-free. Your Pride & Joy was a wonderfully behaved little person. If Childrearing were an Olympic Sport, YOU would have been a Gold Medal Champion!

Okay, now let’s drop-kick that “Fantasy” down to a Level One Reality! read more …

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Teen Turbulence – Let’s Break It Down!

December 4, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

Teen Turbulence – Let’s Break It Down!

Teen Turbulence is all the crappy “Stuff” that naturally erupts in the lives of our sons and daughters. It’s the “Stuff” that we parents cannot control … because it’s completely under the control of our teenagers. If you are living with a teenager, Turbulence is either happening now or about to bubble up and splatter all over you.  BUT there’s hope!

Remember Your Teen Years!

Do you recall your teen years? I hope so because it’s important that you feel “Empathy” toward your teenager. That would be the proof that you have not forgotten what it feels like to be trapped in the body and brain of a teenager. read more …

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What Society Expects of Parents! (Part 2)

November 12, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

What Society Expects of Parents!  (Part 2)

We do not live in the world of our grandparents.  That fact alone changes EVERYTHING!

The universal “response” of parents to the commitment of the Network of Solidarity would be:  Appreciation!

“We cannot watch over our children and teen-children 24/7, but we know it is critically important that they be watched over.  So we Welcome, Value and Appreciate every effort of the Network of Solidarity to “fill-in” for us … to ensure the wellbeing of our sons and daughters.” 

Parents would have to be careful NOT to divulge the identity of members of The Network because that would render them less than effective with our children and teen-children.  If our children found out how information about them was being funneled to us, it could undermine the purpose of the Network of Solidarity.

Parents would use every means at our disposal to make certain there is NO abuse or twisted intentions in the relationship between our sons and daughters and other adults in their lives. read more …

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What Society Expects of Parents – Part 1

November 10, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

What Society Expects of Parents!  (Part 1)

Ever wonder what Society expects of you as the Parent of a teenager?  If not, let me clue you in.

You are expected to fulfill your parental obligations with or without the tools you need to do that job well.  Here’s what’s “Real!”  There are parents out there who tell me they would do “Jumping Jack” backflips if they had a little help with their son or daughter when they really need it.

And those parents don’t mind being specific about the help they want … whether it sounds realistic or not.  Here’s what they say they want:

⊕  An enhanced GPS “Tracking Device” — to let parents know when and where their teenager is going to go AWOL or is NOT going to use their handy cellphone to call home at a reasonable hour.

⊕  A fully functioning “Mood-Swing Detector” — to send parents an Alert just before their teenager blindsides them with an emotional meltdown for no apparent reason.

⊕  An all knowing “Crystal Ball” — to give parents a hint about what their teenager is thinking when he or she shuts down and refuses to talk … for no apparent reason.

Neither of these desires is frivolous … but it’s not likely that Society can deliver them! read more …

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Parenting – The Great Game of Show & Tell

November 6, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

Parenting – The Great Game of Show & Tell!

“Parenting” can be summed up in three words:  “Show & Tell!”  We parents model and teach our children what they need to know …. and we hope they will eventually apply it to their lives.  The challenge with teenagers is this:  They have the ability to judge whether their parents are speaking their personal truth or just giving lip service to ideals they don’t really live up to.

Teenagers will listen to their parents only as long as what we “Show” them reflects what we “Tell” them.  Not so long ago everybody called it “Walking Your Talk”some of us still do.  That’s why I refer to parenting as “The Great Game of Show & Tell!”  It is because our teenagers expect us to Model what comes out of our mouth.  If we fail to do this, they will eventually lose respect for us and call us Hypocrites.

When our sons and daughters lose respect for us … we lose our ability to have any “Influence” in their lives.  That’s a huge LOSS!  And some parents never recover from this.  Why?  Because teenagers have a short attention span where their parents are concerned … and Zero tolerance for Hypocrisy.  So we can’t monkey around with that. read more …

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The “Living Large” Dreams of Teenagers! Part 2

September 8, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

The “Living Large” Dreams of Teenagers!  (Part 2)

Parenting teenagers can be overwhelming, even if you’ve got some experience under your belt. There’s a lot going on with our teens … hormonal activity as well as brain activity! So it’s not wise to judge our teens too hastily or too harshly. Instead, our goal should be to parent mindfully and patiently … for best results.

As Part 2 of the Teens with Dreams series, I promised to introduce you to Danette Makaila, the 17 year-old CEO of Danette Makaila International. Writing about Danette is both a celebration of what she’s accomplished at such a young age and what other Teens with Dreams are doing here in the U.S. and around the world.

I believe the more we celebrate our young people … the more inspired, encouraged and positively challenged they will be to believe in their Dreams and their ability to accomplish them. I also believe the Teens with Dreams series will help parents learn how they can best SUPPORT their teens as they work to accomplish their Dreams. read more …

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The “Living Large” Dreams of Teenagers! (Part 1)

September 6, 2015

“The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

The “Living Large” DREAMS of Teenagers!  (Part 1)

Does your teenager have a Dream? Do you know what it is?

Are you trying to get your teen to “tweak” that Dream … because YOU know it would be so much better if he or she just changed a few little things?

Are you giving instructions on how your teen should GO AFTER his or her Dream?

Do you …

STOP IT!

LEAVE YOUR TEENAGER’S DREAM ALONE!

Let’s allow our teens to “hold” the Dream in their Imagination … until it is so big and bright and beautiful … that they are compelled to chase it down and make it their own.

Let’s allow our teens to “breathe life” into their Dream … without us trying to give their Dream “mouth-to-mouth resuscitation” … because WE think they won’t do enough to keep the Dream alive. read more …

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“Mom and Dad Don’t Love Me!” (Part 2)

June 26, 2015

 “The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

“Mom and Dad Don’t Love Me!”  (Part 2)

Nearly all parents at some point in time … while raising their teenagers … have looked in the mirror and asked at least one of these questions:

“What the heck happened?!!!

“Where’s the kid who stuck to me like glue growing up?”

“Why has she stopped talking to me?”

“When did he get so shut-down?”

Enough already! If you’ve had a good (or decent) relationship with your teenager, he or she DID NOT wake up one morning and decide to “treat Mom and Dad like idiots to see what happens.” You may not want to acknowledge it now, but you were given a boatload of “signs” and “foreshadows” of what’s happening NOW. The reason I know this is true is because I raised a teenager and rubbed elbows with others. read more …

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Mom and Dad Don’t Love Me! (Part 1)

May 18, 2015

 “The Parental Grapevine!”

A Cluster of Transformational Parenting Practices

  Malbec Grapes

“Mom and Dad Don’t Love Me!”  (Part 1)

I’m going to start this blog post with an Excerpt from my new eBook titled “Mom and Dad Don’t Love Me!”  Here goes …

Brace yourself! I’m going to hit you with some “tough love” right up front. So let’s get it out of the way.

For however long it takes you to read this book, I will be calling the shots! I’m not going to bite my tongue (or my keyboard) while we’re together. And I won’t back off or back down from anything printed on these pages.

At this point, you might be saying to yourself, “She’s trying to pick a fight!”

Not true. I’m simply trying to get your undivided attention. Why? Because what I want to share with you is too important to treat lightly or ignore … or give you any wiggle room. read more …

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